i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did i walk over a car last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
