dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
