i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Someone shit on the floor
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
