we have officially lost it.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Randomize
