dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
