At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
