pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
