So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
