were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
