maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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