So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
