Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
