College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
