google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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