I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
