Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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