i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
