I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
