I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
