I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
