I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
