This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
