i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
