You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
