I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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