Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
