I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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