I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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