Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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