Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
