i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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