Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize