Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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