O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
