Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
