I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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