I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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