I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
