Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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