hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
