my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
