I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
