I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
