What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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