and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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