It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
