He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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