i would punch a child for taco bell
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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