How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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