You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
